Want to know how to be more feminine and soft as a woman? This guide is for you.
You see those effortlessly graceful women floating through life with an aura of femininity, and you think:
“How on earth do they do that?”
“What makes a woman feminine?”
Like you, many women struggle to embrace their feminine side because they are unsure what it truly means or how to express it.
It’s easy to feel like you’re missing some secret manual on how to be a “proper” lady.
In this guide, you’ll learn about how to be more feminine.
Table of Contents
What Is Femininity?
The art of femininity isn’t a set of behaviors or how you look. It’s a positive energy that flows from within.
Sure, a killer outfit and a fresh manicure make you look like a lady, but true femininity goes way deeper than that.
Think of femininity as a vibe you radiate. It’s in how you carry yourself, how you interact with others, and most importantly, how you feel about yourself.
Maya Angelou’s poem, Phenomenal Woman, sums it up best:
Stanza 1
"Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Stanza 2
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Stanza 3
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Stanza 4
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me."
The Phenomenal woman isn’t the typical woman. She is an attractive and strong woman—and it’s because of her FEMININITY.
Femininity comes from your core and touches everything you do.
Your feminine energy might look completely different from your best friend’s or that Instagram influencer you follow—and that’s totally fine.
Ultimately, you need to explore and find what parts of ‘being feminine’ resonate with you. Some things you can do during this period to boost your feminine vibes include the following:
- Reciting daily positive affirmations
- Being intentional about developing admirable manners as a lady
- Keeping a journal about your self-growth journey
9 Ways to Be More Feminine
While femininity isn’t a set of rules, there are practical tips you can take to become more feminine. Here are nine simple ways to be a more beautiful and feminine-looking woman:
1. Make Self-Care a Ritual
Find ways to make self-care enjoyable rather than a chore. When it’s time for grooming, play some music and take time with your routines.
Caring for yourself isn’t just about “looking” good. It’s about “feeling” good and honoring yourself—body and soul.
Notice the physical sensations you get from your self-care routines, not just the end result of the process.
- Do you love the chilling feel of sunscreen on your face?
- Is it the shininess of lip gloss that does it for you?
- Do you like the smell of nail polish when painting your nails?
- Do you just like how your skin feels after shaving your body hair?
Try to identify the parts of your routines that feel good and spend a little extra time doing them.
2. Be Soft Without Losing Your Edge
Being feminine doesn’t mean being a pushover. Femininity, in fact, is about finding a balance between softness and strength.
So, be soft without becoming a people-pleaser in the race to be more pleasant or feminine. For you, this might look like:
- Speaking gently but firmly when you need to make a point
- Offering a warm smile to strangers (when you feel safe doing so)
- Showing empathy in tough situations
- Not becoming a rude person because you’re in a position of power
- Avoiding the use of crude language or curses
- Refraining from situations that might lead to unnecessary conflicts
Be approachable and friendly. You can take your stance (on something) without being rude or controlling.
3. Smell Nice. Always
Want to instantly improve your feminine image? Smell nice. Every single time.
Fragrances affect our mood and energy. When you smell good, you feel confident and positive.
And it makes others notice your feminine side.
It could be a classic perfume, your favorite essential oil, deodorant, or the lingering smell of your hair shampoo.
Collect a few scents that make you feel good. When you catch a whiff of it throughout the day, it will make you feel good.
Free Self-Confidence Worksheet
Want to become the most confident version of yourself and shine like the light you are?
4. Embrace All Your Sides
Being feminine doesn’t mean you have to give up your other qualities.
You can be soft and:
- Strong
- Funny
- Assertive
- Athletic
Your alpha female and femme fatale sides are all parts of you. In fact, embracing all sides of yourself is deeply an essence of femininity.
You learn to integrate your qualities, not segregate them. Your complexity is what makes you interesting.
5. Be Vulnerable
Society equates toughness with strength, and this can make vulnerability feel scary.
Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness, but strength. It allows you to embody your femininity and experience to connect with like-minded people.
Now, ‘being vulnerable’ doesn’t mean you need to spill your life story to everyone you meet. It’s about the following:
- Being honest about your feelings, even the messy ones
- Asking for help when you need it
- Showing emotions
- Sharing your aspirations with people you trust
When you open up, you create space for deeper connections and more meaningful relationships. This also makes you someone others can trust with their thoughts.
Vulnerability makes the whole world a little bit softer.
6. Let Your Body Do the Talking
As a woman who wants to completely embrace her lady era, you need to know how to use body language. It’s a vital feminine characteristic.
Feminine body language tends to be more open and fluid. Here are some tips for you:
- Have a straight upright posture
- Keep your chin parallel to the ground when standing
- Sit with your legs crossed or ankles tucked
- Stand with a slight hip tilt
- Use hand gestures when you speak
- Make eye contact and smile
And don’t force it.
The priority is to feel comfortable and confident in your skin. So, if crossing your legs feels awkward, try something else. Find the movements and postures that feel natural to you.
7. Trust Your Gut
There’s a reason we talk about “women’s intuition.”
Feminine energy is often associated with being intuitive and in tune with emotions—both your own and others. And the more you trust your intuition, the stronger it becomes.
Practicing intuition might look like this:
- Trusting your first impression about someone
- Making decisions based on what “feels right”
- Paying attention to the energy in a room
- Listening to your body’s signals
8. Dress to Express
Clothing can be a fun way to express your femininity.
We carry ourselves with gracefulness when we feel good in our outfits. So, wear clothes that make you feel your best—confident and comfortable.
To find out what you feel most feminine in, you might need to explore a little bit. You might be drawn toward clothing such as:
- Flowing dresses
- Tailored suits
- Comfy jeans and a soft sweater
- Workout gear that makes you feel strong and sexy
When choosing your clothes, find fabrics and colors that enhance your best features.
Do you look awesome in black? Do light fabrics fit your body shape? How comfortable are you in stretchy clothes?
You’ll need to do a lot of testing. But, overall, ensure you don’t look shabby in clothes.
9. Accessorize Your Way
Want to be more feminine? Try accessories. They instantly add a feminine touch to any outfit.
This could be:
- A delicate golden necklace
- Bold earrings that make you feel fierce
- A scarf that adds a color pop to your style
- A watch that makes you feel polished
Using accessories is a way to express your personality and feel put-together.
In Summary: How to Be More Feminine
Being feminine isn’t about fitting societal standards or jumping on “all pink” trends. It’s about tapping into the energy that already exists within you and letting it shine.
To discover what feminine patterns resonate with you, you need to try different things at first.
Find what feels right for you (and let go of what doesn’t) on your journey to be more feminine. Your femininity, your rules.
