These funny quotes for Monday will keep you inspired to launch into a positive week.
Mondays have a reputation that’s harder to shake than a hangover. It’s a love-hate relationship.
It’s easy to cling to the relaxing weekend vibes you had and feel you’re not yet ready for another dreadful day of the week.
So, put an end to the mindset of unhappiness that surrounds Monday and build a more positive partnership with this day because it sets the tone for your entire week.
With a positive mindset and a little bit of humor, you can turn that dreaded first day of the week into something worth smiling about. I mean—making it the start of a week of possibilities and smiles.
I’ve gathered 121 of the most entertaining, witty, and downright hilarious Monday quotes to kickstart your week with a hearty laugh.
If you’re clutching your coffee cup for dear life, a little nervous about your goals list, or trying to remember what your password is for the thousandth time, these funny Monday quotes will remind you that you can make it through the day.
131 Motivational Funny Sayings About Mondays
Everyone’s experiencing the same Monday madness, so why not make it a bit more bearable with some humorous quotes?
Besides, Monday only lasts 24 hours—or roughly 18 cups of coffee, but who’s counting? These funny Monday quotes will make your day a little lighter and more manageable.
The Best Funny Monday Quotes:
Funny Quotes for Monday Morning
Here are some morning quotes to set a positive tone for the week.
1. “I really need a day between Sunday and Monday to prepare my mind for all the Mondaying I have to do.”
2. “Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday.”
3. “Monday morning feels like a ninja sneaking up on you with a calendar.”
4. “My bed and I have a special relationship on Monday mornings. We’re deeply committed to each other.”
5. “Today’s Monday morning motivation is brought to you by pure denial.”
6. “Monday morning should come with a warning label: ‘May cause extreme desire to remain horizontal.”
7. “I don’t have a case of the Mondays. I have an entire law firm.”
8. “Monday morning: When even my coffee needs coffee.”
9. “My morning routine on Monday: Hit snooze on the alarm clock 17 times, question all life choices, and eventually get up.”
10. “Monday morning vocabulary: Nope, Can’t, Tomorrow, Strong coffee, What?”
11. “Whoever invented Mondays clearly wasn’t thinking about human happiness—or basic survival instincts.”
Funniest Monday Quotes for a Great Day
These motivational quotes will give you a good chuckle.
1. “On Mondays, I’m like a computer trying to boot up with Windows 95.”
2. “Monday is like a math problem: Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.”
3. “I’ve got my Monday pants on—you know, the ones with the elastic waistband for emotional eating.”
4. “Monday is perfect for becoming a new person… because nobody recognizes you anyway.”
5. “Breaking news: Monday still happens every seven days, scientists baffled.”
6. “My Monday superpower is making it look like I’m working while mentally planning my weekend.”
7. “Monday: The moment when Sunday stops sending you to voicemail.”
8. “Plot twist: What if we started calling Monday ‘Second Sunday’? Would that help?”
9. “Monday is like a software update that always comes at the worst time.”
10. “Today’s forecast: 99% chance of not wanting to Monday.”
11. “Monday’s motto: If at first you don’t succeed, coffee coffee coffee.”
Short Funny Quotes for Mondays
If you’re an anti-Monday person, here are some funny quotes to start Monday with a dose of humor.
1. “Monday: Permission to be messy granted.”
2. “Keep calm and pretend it’s not Monday.”
3. “Monday called. I hung up.”
4. “Monday is a state of mind.”
5. “Warning: Monday does not believe in weekends.”
6. “Monday: 1, Me: 0”
7. “Plot twist: It’s Monday again.”
8. “Monday = Coffee² + Hope”
9. “Dear Monday, you should take a holiday.”
10. “Monday: The audacity.”
11. “Loading Monday… Error 404.”
Witty Monday Quotes
Want some ideas for witty Monday quotes? Try these sarcastic quips to start the week with vigor.
1. “I’m not a morning person or a Monday person. I’m barely even a person before noon.”
2. “Monday is like a programming bug that keeps recurring every seven days.”
3. “My Monday mood is sponsored by the letters ‘N’ and ‘O’.”
4. “Monday questions my life choices more than my mother does.”
5. “I speak fluent Monday. It sounds a lot like profanity.”
6. “Monday is the perfect time to reboot yourself. Unfortunately, I can’t find my power button.”
7. “Mondays aren’t so bad. It’s your job that sucks.”
8. “Monday is like a new software update—inevitable and full of bugs.”
9. “I’m not saying Monday ruined my life, but I’m not not saying that.”
10. “Monday is the kind of day that makes your calendar need therapy.”
11. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs—functional but questionable.”
Hilarious Quotes about Monday
Have a fantastic week with these funny sayings about Monday.
1. “Monday should be optional, like pants on the weekend.”
2. “I didn’t choose the Monday life. The Monday life chose violence.”
3. “Monday is like stepping on a Lego first thing in the morning.”
4. “My Monday face looks like I’m still processing last week’s drama.”
5. “Monday feels like someone glued my eyelids together while I was sleeping.”
6. “Monday exists to remind us that life isn’t all tacos and margaritas.”
7. “Monday morning meetings are like family reunions—long, awkward, and someone’s always asleep.”
8. “If Monday had a face, I’d throw a pie at it.”
9. “Monday is the equivalent of stepping in a puddle with socks on.”
10. “Monday feels like when your phone says it’s charged but dies at 97%.”
11. “Monday is basically a full-time job between my other full-time job.”
Funny Monday Coffee Quotes
Are you a coffee lover? This selection of quotes will help you start Monday in a cheerful tone and with lots of coffee.
1. “My blood type is Monday morning coffee.”
2. “Dear Coffee, I know we see each other every day, but Monday is special.”
3. “Monday coffee: Because rage alone won’t cut it.”
4. “My Monday morning coffee needs its own coffee.”
5. “Coffee: The only reason I’m not in jail for Monday-related crimes.”
6. “Monday + Coffee = Still Monday, but bearable.”
7. “I put coffee in my coffee on Mondays.”
8. “Monday morning coffee is the only relationship I need right now.”
9. “My coffee tolerance on Monday is directly proportional to my meeting schedule.”
10. “Coffee: Because Monday understands nothing else.”
11. “Monday’s secret ingredient is coffee. And more coffee. And maybe tears.”
Humorous Monday Quotes for Work
Try these funny Monday quotes for an amazing work week.
1. “Monday at work: Where ‘living the dream’ means ‘surviving the nightmare.'”
2. “My Monday productivity peaks at setting up my out-of-office reply for Friday.”
3. “Monday meetings: Where minutes are kept and hours are lost.”
4. “My Monday work outfit is powered by dry shampoo and false confidence.”
5. “Monday work motivation: Remembering I need money for tacos.”
6. “Professional on Monday = Keeping the screaming internal.”
7. “Monday work mood: Professional on the outside, crying in Comic Sans on the inside.”
8. “My Monday work schedule is basically a comedy of errors.”
9. “Monday work goals: Look busy while doing absolutely nothing.”
10. “I excel at work on Mondays. And by excel, I mean I use Microsoft Excel.”
11. “Monday work wisdom: If you’re going to procrastinate, at least look stressed about it.”
Related: 75 Inspiring Hustle Quotes for Women Bosses
Mindful & Funny Sayings for Monday
These motivation quotes are a great way to start the week with a dose of positivity.
1. “Monday is a state of mind. And right now, my mind is in Hawaii.”
2. “Mindfully acknowledging that Monday exists. Still don’t like it.”
3. “Finding inner peace on Monday is like sorting mismatched socks—theoretically possible.”
4. “Monday mantra: I am at one with my coffee.”
5. “Breathing in peace, breathing out Monday chaos.”
6. “Monday mindfulness: Accepting that my zen has a sense of humor.”
7. “Being present on Monday means being presently annoyed.”
8. “Monday meditation: Focus on the weekend ahead.”
9. “Finding balance on Monday means not falling asleep in meetings.”
10. “Mindfully choosing to ignore that it’s Monday.”
11. “Monday wisdom: Sometimes the most spiritual thing to do is laugh.”
Silly Monday Quotes
Want a week of smiles? Here are some silly quotes for a fun Monday.
1. “Monday wears a onesie to formal events.”
2. “If Monday was a pizza topping, it would be anchovies.”
3. “Monday dances like your dad at a wedding.”
4. “Monday is that friend who always shows up at a party uninvited.”
5. “Monday puts milk in the bowl before cereal.”
6. “Monday uses Comic Sans unironically.”
7. “Monday thinks hot dog is a sandwich.”
8. “Monday still has a MySpace account.”
9. “Monday claps when the plane lands.”
10. “Monday replies all to company-wide emails.”
11. “Monday eats Kit Kats without breaking them apart first.”
Funniest Quotes to Beat Stormy Monday Blues
These hilarious, uplifting quotes are good for giving Monday blues the middle finger and setting a positive tone for the week.
1. “My Monday blues are more like Monday heavy metal.”
2. “Monday blues? I prefer Monday snooze.”
3. “Fighting Monday blues with rainbow sprinkles and denial.”
4. “Monday blues hit harder than my first breakup.”
5. “Monday blues are just Sunday scaries with a tie on.”
6. “My Monday blues playlist is just screaming into the void.”
7. “Monday blues: When even your blues have blues.”
8. “Treating Monday blues with chocolate therapy.”
9. “Monday blues: The only blues that coffee can’t fix.”
10. “My Monday blues deserve their own Netflix series.”
11. “Monday blues are just Friday withdrawals.”
Inspiring Funny Quotes about Mondays
Need a good way to start Monday with a dose of positivity? Try these funny quotes.
1. “Monday: Let’s do this! (After another coffee… or five.)”
2. “Making Monday my friend, because keeping enemies closer is exhausting.”
3. “Monday motivation: At least you’re not a Monday.”
4. “Turning Monday into Funday, one delusion at a time.”
5. “Monday is just a day that reminds you how awesome the other days are.”
6. “Inspiring myself to Monday by promising myself tacos.”
7. “Monday: The perfect day to start living someone else’s inspirational quote.”
8. “Making Monday magical by pretending it’s Friday.”
9. “Monday is just Sunday with a mission.”
10. “Manifesting a Monday that doesn’t feel like a Monday.”
11. “Monday: The day that teaches us what we’re really made of (mostly coffee).”
Funny Monday Affirmation Quotes
Check out these Monday affirmation quotes for a week filled with humor and enthusiasm.
1. “I am one with Monday, and Monday is… well, Monday is still being difficult, but we’re working on our relationship.”
2. “I attract positive Monday energy, and by positive, I mean I positively need more coffee.”
3. “Every Monday, I embrace my inner warrior—you know, the one screaming internally while smiling in meetings.”
4. “Today, I acknowledge my Monday feelings and give them permission to go bother someone else instead.”
5. “Today, I choose to be Monday’s plot twist. They never saw this nap coming.”
6. “I manifest Monday productivity by convincing myself that my bed is actually my office.”
7. “My Monday energy is unstoppable… once I figure out where I put my motivation.”
8. “I am stronger than Monday’s challenges, mainly because I’ve got industrial-strength concealer.”
9. “The universe conspires to help me through Monday, primarily through scheduled coffee breaks.”
10. “I radiate Monday confidence, which is basically Sunday confidence with better posture and more caffeine.”
In Summary: Funniest Monday Quotes
Mondays will always be Mondays, but armed with these quotes, we can face them with a smile, a laugh, and possibly an unreasonable amount of coffee.
Instead of sharing in the mutual enmity almost everyone has against the start of the week, these sayings are a chance for fresh starts and a positive attitude.
Here’s to making your Mondays a little lighter, a lot funnier, and somewhat more manageable.
Other posts to keep you feeling motivated:
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